Wondering and worrying audience. The creation of audience versus the packaging of poetry for an audience. Writing for other poets versus writing for?????

Sometimes non-readers of poetry (close friends) say they feel unintelligent because they don't get process oriented poetry. I don't want anyone to feel stupid and unworthy, including myself.

I am driven to process (non-neat, anti) but I don't want to feel elitist.

This is the old question of difficulty, I know.

Is re-education, re-conditioning neccesary rather than pandering to audience (or some notion of audience)?

I am ok with not getting everything. I like not getting everything. Is not getting everything ever a hoax?

Can a hoax ever be a good thing?