Skip to main content


Showing posts from July, 2004

great albums in the last four months?

Loading a lot of music into itunes today. Three days of music so far. Close to a hundred cds left to import. Just finished loading all Sunny Day Real Estate, The Fire Theft, Death Cab for Cutie. Now I think I am going to bring those cds to Gate City Noise and trade them in. I have gone off Sunny Day and Death Cab. Not sure what to get in their place.

I'll have to a little online reading. Since I stopped my subscription to Magnet I haven't kept up with the really new stuff. Any great albums in the last four months?

new system

My whole system crashed a few days ago. Spent two days trying to save it (purchased the computer on ebay so who knows about previous owner?).

The good thing though is I erased the hard drive and did a fresh installation of jaguar (I had panther before).
My poems were on a keychain so I didn't lose them.

I like Jaguar and Safari is working in blogger.

Interersting names: safari, panther, jaguar (tiger coming soon), blogger.

Sometimes a full system crash is a good thing ( as long as you back up the good shit).

I am enjoying Mark Ducharme's _Infinity Subsections_ and Trevor Joyce's _With the First Dream of Fire They Hunt the Cold_.

One more longish poem for the manuscript and I am done (no more mass fiddling only small tinkering).

At the Lucipo meeting on Saturday we talked about a lot of very interesting things. Such as: can the work of the critic interphere with the work of the poet (not necessarily assuming the two are seperate people)?

Also on the subject of book makin…

too little too much

I've been cutting reworking resequencing to make an interesting first book manuscript.

I had 70 pages now it's down to 59 pages. (all in all I've cut about 78 poems over the years).

The poems I cut needed to be cut (too many flippant "NY school" poems for one manuscript), but I am wondering if 59 pages is not enough. Quite a few of the poems are 4-5 pages long. Can 59 pages turn into 69 pages when a book is bound by a publisher?

Hm . . .

I tried rescuing a few poems and made them much worse. I just had to let 'em go.

I wasn't attached to the poems but I was attached to a few of the phrasings. (Reuse poems for parts).

Starting Lee Ann Brown's _The Sleep that Changed Everything_. Her reading/performance at the Carrboro poetry festival was so amazing. I am excited to read her work on the page (with my reading voice mixed with her performance voice running in the background).

I don't think there is any such thing as silent reading. There's alwa…

Emotion and Reason (with a little class)

I just finished cleaning out the cat litter (it's a mega cat litter box). Cleaning out the cat litter box is much different than doing the litter. Doing the litter is all about scooping. Cleaning out is all about getting your hands poopy (I guess you could wear gloves, but I don't like rubber gloves).

So after the cleaning out, I sat down and read Silliman's _Lit_ which I enjoyed a whole hell of a lot more after cleaning out the litter. (onto _Jones_ next. I only have two letters of the alphabet).

I mean doing something I don't like to do (or really want to do) helps me dig into things I do want (to do). teaching boring poetry (or reading boring poetry) makes me want to write interesting poetry. Not that the opposite isn't more true. A little of what I don't like/want to do goes a long way.

Today's carrot was _Lit_.
(not all carrots are equal)

For some reason I don't feel the lack of emotion so many of my instructors pegged as Langpo. I almost believe…

when to call it good

darn what is going on. Camino will not allow me to type text in blogger and Mozilla is underlining my text. I hate IE so I hope this doesn't mean I have to dowload and use IE for blogging.

On another note:

I can't stop revising my first book manuscript. I keep taking out old poems and putting in new ones. My folder named second book keeps getting transferred into the first book folder and the old manuscript is redone (sometimes in a different font). I know the new poems are "better" than the old poems but when will I know a first book manuscript is ready? I suppose three years of revising and changing a first manuscript is not out of the ordinary, but I am afraid (given my impulsive/obsessive nature) I will never leave my first book manuscript alone. A lifelong project of one 68 page manuscript.

Ah well. I am enjoying revising. adding new poems etc. So maybe (I hope) something will tell me: o.k. good enough for a first book.

Well, let's see if blogger allows…

Doubled Flowering

I feel like I am always catching up. The Yasusada affair is now way past infancy. The twenty letters to The Believer in Typo 3 explore the issues quite well. The issues of authorship cut deep, so maybe everything hasn't been said. So despite the possibility of repeating what others have said much better about Doubled Flowering, I have to write/think/ramble about it.

The issues of authorship are a constant subject in Yasusada's writings.

Yasusada's English assignment # 20 (his teacher is Mr. Rogers. A scottish guy who wears native garb in the classroom) is to write in the style of another. This is Yasusada's reply:

"You kindly asked us to write in the voice of another. I believe, very frankly, that all writing is quite already passed through the voices or styles of many others. This, I believe in my heart is the very marrow of writing"

So Yasusada points out writing is always already in the voices of many people. The real author does not exist if real is taken…

On the eastern shore

currently on the eastern shore of maryland reading Doubled Flowering on a hammock.

Ah, this feels great. A shower, some sea air, new underwear, good book, and some tea.

Yesterday I traded in 35 books (Tate, Plath, biographies). In exchange I Purchased

1)Trevor Joyce's With the First Dream of Fire They Hunt the Cold, a Body of Work 1966/2000
2) Doubled Flowering
3) Olsen's The Maximus poems

So much to read. So many projects.


Finally get to visit home. Got two roundtrip tickets in December to Dublin for $674. Dec 16th - Dec 27th.

Never flown on Aer Lingus. Hope they have some decent pillows.

This was a great deal considering the last time I went home around Christmas it was $1100 on British Airways (for 1 ticket).

Tiffany and I are going to rent a nice small car and drive all over Ireland. 5 or 6 days in the south and 4 or 5 days in the north.

I immigrated to the U.S. when I was 12 (almost 13) and have never drove a car in another country (other than Canada). Should be fun.

I am ready for some Portadown chinese fish and chips (can't beat their gravy).

My bookshelves are uncluttered. It feels good. About 30 more books of poetry to take to Chapel Hill. This time I want $ because Ken Rumble ordered some really really good poetry books for the Internationalist Bookstore.


Independence day

I just watched Cold Mountain (not a very good movie) and Fahrenheit 911. Both movies, combined with some of my experiences growing up in Portadown, caused a little mortality crisis and cognitive discomfort (hence this writing/grunting).

How do I want to die? Not by biological weapon, not by slow starvation, not by bullet, noose, or fire.

Will it ever be possible to handle power in a less cruel way?

It seem to me, the communities that handle power the best are small. It seems like size/nations are an issue.

I sometimes wonder what was gained by large nations discovering other cultures (+ and -).

On the + we learn (hopefully) cultural relativism. On the - we attempt to control and exterminate. Millions die so we can discover.

If we all believed the world was flat and continued to live in our own little corner of the world would we (and many others) enjoy a better quality of life?

And why so much money to explore Mars when we have so many alienated folks right here on planet earth?


Is it that time again?

I think it's about half way through summer break so I better start reading or re-reading the books I am gonna teach.

Just decided to use Lisa Jarnot's Ring of Fire for my two sections of intro to lit. Should be interesting in combo with The New American Poetry Revised ( I will recontextualize and historize the selections) and Eileen Myles Cool for You.

My used mac system is almost complete. The studio crt display is supposed to arrive today. My eyes will be relieved.

I've been thinking about the term maximum. Dean Young talks about being maximalist. he says he includes everything (waste and all) rather than paring down (like Creeley etc.)

I just went through my books again to try and get some $ to watch Fahrenheit 911 tonight.

I realized I don't really like Dean Young's poetry anymore. My recent feast of Oppen, Paz, Jospeh Donahue, Rexroth, and Philip Whalen makes Dean Young's poems feel like a plate of rubber chick peas.

So many jokes.
It's smooth skatin…

washing of hands

Is it really true that it is good and right to wash your hands for 2 minutes to kill maximum germs/bacteria etc.

I consider myself clean, but 2 minutes feels like a long time for the washing of hands.

Mr. Germ said 2 minutes but the following advice about public restrooms seems more reasonable:

Proper hand washing techniques

Proper hand washing techniques can stop up to 90% germs from spreading. Learn how.

Dirty hands kill people! When your mother told you to go wash up before you eat, she wasn't just concerned about your tidy appearance at the table.

Well, maybe she was, but research is proving that her advice was medically sound. Proper hand washing can stop the spread of 99% of the germs that travel via droplets, and that covers a lot of nasty illnesses, including most flu viruses.

People who use public restrooms are especially susceptible to picking up germs left by others who don't practice good hygiene, but so is anyone who picks up reading material at the library, shares …

old flings/first loves

Does anyone dream of old flings?

When I feel anxious about my mortality I have a dream about an old fling.

It takes place in 1990. I am 16 yrs. old and Mormon living in a small town named Hurricane.

My old fling shows up and has turned away from the Mormon church (I am 16 but have my current ex-Mormon 30 year old mind).

We usually say the word fuck a lot but don't act on it.

I wake up strange.

Today I woke up and went outside to a big white blanket of fog.

The old fling connects to my old fling with Mormonism. Mormonism told me what to think.

It told me I had a ghost in my machine and I could create my own worlds as a future god (as god once was, man now is).

After many flings with various religions, I realized I had to be honest with myself.

I had to learn to live with uncertainty.

But I watched a strange movie called Mermaids last night and it made me realize my teenage years are gone. My closeness to my brother (we moved to America when he was 2. He was my only close frien…