break it up and start again

I am feeling good about Poland overall. I might stay in Europe. I must make a big decision quite soon. My alien card for America will expire in two years. Then if I don't return to America the door shuts. I can still visit with my UK passport though.

Also, heading into new territory. Breaking up with Ela.

Might go to London in the summer for two weeks.

Might stay in Poland next year and keep teaching and writing.

I am not ready to return to America quite yet. But I want to keep connected to the literary world and my artist friends in North Carolina and other places in the U.S. I don't want to be completely isolated.

Love, I tell you.

Finished Bohumil Hrabal's Too Loud a Solitude. Fucking brilliant! Best novel I have read in a long long time. Woke me up. Made me realise life is full of potential. It's not over baby!!

Now I am reading Salman Rushdie's Shalimar the Clown. Love it so far. Although I just started it.

Chaos and order. Stability and pity. hm . . .