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it's too heavy

I'm always leaving and can't remember what I left. I sometimes wish I took a different road. But this is the road I am currently on. So be it.

I am finishing the manuscript I wrote in Korea called Wonderland. I re-looked at it today and found a way back into a manuscript. I can't get back into my Dada phase anymore. Which is fine. I just feel like all this writing is building and building. I have to release some of it. Get rid of it. Get it published. The unpublished manuscripts are piling up and sometimes they are just too damn heavy.

I think I am at heart a minimalist. But I have to work for the minimalism. I mean have to unload a lot to get to the minimalism. Godzeenie moves between very short poems (a few lines) and long enjambed breathless lines. The same is true of Wonderland. I think they are companions. Godzeenie and Wonderland are companions. So are my manuscripts from Resident Alien (Chain and Buckshot).

The Resident Alien manuscripts are concerned with "found language" and flarfish techniques and the guiding principle is sound. Wonderland and Godzeenie are concerned with occassional poetics. Wonderland records time and place and Godzeenie the hour of composition. In these manuscripts I am moving away from heavy irony. Of course there is irony. But they are not as dependent on irony and sound. Maybe image is more prominent.

I need a lot of writing to sustain me (reading and writing). But I also need to organize it all.

Why write? Sometimes I just can't help it goddamn it.

And I have to re-create the world. The world is always created by something or a collection of someones and art is a way for me to choose. To mindfully choose and thus live fully. Canons and politics can't be avoided because whether we admit it or not we all want recognition of some sort. Even a recognition that we don't care about the canon of English poetry.

I do hate almost all anthologies though. I hate the textbooks of poetry. I prefer whole books. Whole projects. Multiple authors can be interesting of course. But not usually in anthologies.

I have been out of the loop. Without a community of artists for over a year now and it's driving me nuts. It's going to a long hard road to come back to America. No car. No money. An uphill climb for sure.

I have been divorced for a year now.

I am tired of trying to make things happen. I will send out possabilites and see what comes back. Maybe I am in permenant exile from English speaking countries. Regardless of where I live I need to see living breathing artists on occassion. I need to have discussions etc.

I keep wanting to get a printer but then I worry I won't stay in Poland and I will have to leave it behind. But damn it. A printer would be helpful. I would eventually like to submit a manuscript. But it is a little difficult since most publishers require U.S. money etc. And then there's the whole world of contests again.

Anything is possible I am sure.

So yes the world is interconnected blah blah blah

But it is much easier to be an English poet in an English speaking country. Both in terms of community, networking and publishing. Unless you already have a name for yourself. Then it doesn't really matter where you live (at least in terms of publishing).

Perhaps I mistaken. Maybe I need to reconenct with a community of poets via the internet. That's something worth investigating. Mipo is certainly a great online community of poets.

The Lucifer Poetics Group spoiled me. I want it again. I want to live it all over again.


Chris Vitiello said…
come back to nc, marcus.
seriously, just arrive and we'll figure out job living arrangements and all.
plenty of folks with a place to stay for a while in durham until you get settled.

really. i offer you a bed. come back.
postpran said…
Thank you Chris. I may take you up on this in the future. I have to think about a few things on this end. It really helps to know that it is possible. However, if you change your mind later, or your circumstances change, there would be no hard feelings.
JWG said…
Chris, I like you.

Marcus, you can't go wrong. All your moves are good.

Spring day here in seoul. skirts are getting short.

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