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Showing posts from March, 2007

class considerations

I attended a high school as a white minority

I am not a white minority

I am a middle class American

I am not a middle class American

I am not a protestant from Northern Ireland

I am a protestant from Northern Ireland

my parents were poor immigrants

my parents are not poor immigrants

I am not good with my hands

I am good with my hands

I am white collar

I am not white collar

hotel diament

I am now in the Diamond hotel. Hotel Diament. It is quite interesting. Got just a bit of history last night from a private student. It is used to be a 5 star hotel 30 years ago during communism. Up until the early 90's it was used almost exclusively by miners working in the local mines. It has a certain Eastern European communist style feel to it. Or in the case of Poland "Central European."

I can't put my finger on the feel of these communist style buildings.

There is a huge communist style building in the center of Katowice. No windows.

Hotel Diament:

Three small bunk beds in a square room. White laced curtains blackened by coal dust. A red faux velvet curtain to cover the dirty white ones. Smudges of coal dust on the brown carpet. Black masking tape around the windows and pencil marks above the mirror: JB 23.2


But I am painting the wrong picture.

That was the first room.

For unknown reasons the cleaning ladies moved me into a different room yesterday afternoon.

The sec…

phase 6

Another move tomorrow. Still in Poland. Same job. A hotel tomorrow with no internet. No fridge. So I gotta figure out how to eat since Poland does not serve breakfast. Can I hold out on eating until 12PM? Maybe. And where to eat. Hm . . . will see.

Mainly it sucks I will lose my internet. I paid for one year so it's good until November.

But the old lady ain't worth it . . .

Only three more months of this shite . . .

hm . . .

Dublin

then???

Damn this part of Poland is boring.

Nothing interesting at all . . .

Maybe it's time for a return to Asia???

Lech is not a bad beer though . . .

Gotta just drink Lech for three months in my hotel room and then maybe I can survive.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I had some chums. No chums. Just me and my room. My room in the old lady's flat.

But maybe the hotel will spice up my life. There is a disco in the hotel. Maybe I can dance on the weekends. Get some light exercise with the 'ole hernia.

I just know I can't handle a summer in this…

more from Wonderland

The long poem continues:

11. Hermit Kingdom

bags were
emptied
and reified and
left
be-
hind

in my Sunday
suit
in bed
with Jeom-
Sook
animal
planet on the telly
mainly excited during
slide-down
animal tilt
side-
ways &
ver-
tical
blow-
job
with
swallow
bite
my little
tit

in-
spire

trans-
pire

em-
pire

can’t
get
out

of bed
except
to eat

Korean
pizza
with
hot sauce

12. In the Beginning

first birth has no grace
but a whelping
at the edge
of abyss
supreme clean
gums
all things re-
turn
in labor whereby
our only
mother
feeds
silence
in the manicured
garden
and first
and only
mother won’t
it be
fine
shaded
moans
roots
breaking
through rooms

the ghost-
ly
appendage
re-affixes
itself
and dear
mother dear
mother
crushes
Descarte’s
golden
flower
under
her heels

awkward

awk·ward
1 obsolete : PERVERSE


the old Polish lady

has crossed the line

one too many times

she swung open

my door

without

a knock

just as I was

in the thick

of it

and about

to . . .


she said "no no no"


she heard

sex and came

to stop it!


last straw: new

rules, no

girls

in room

home

by ten o'clock

and

this is not a hotel



on the brink of . . . curfew . . . no girls allowed . . .



repeat:

I am not 16


repeat:

I am not

a sinner


getting out

of here


yes indeed

a month

at the local

hotel next week

:-)

I am not a lonely genius

The main issue is life and how to live it. I think one of my biggest enemies is boredom. I need mental stimulation. I need a good bookshop. There is one in Krakow. So either I move to an English speaking country or find a good bookshop in Poland with a strong contemporary poetry selection and a community of artists.

It looks very likely I will spend the summer in Dublin. So that should be good. It would be especially good if I can find some poets in the Dublin area. I need to make contact with other artists. I don't expect immortality through my art. I want to live with my art. And living with art for me requires communities.

I am not the lonely genius type. if such a thing even exists.

lost legs

Got some broken memories of someone's lost legs on the concrete. I guess I was six. So it is partial. A bomb. Somewhere. A blue van and a man screaming. Working with Wonderland and out came the lost legs:

10. Agitprop

for a split
second
in-
sensed
&
smoke-
choked

you are
legs
on gravel

blood-stumped and cherry
red ploy
to sell

the soul

and you

don’t know what is leased, leashed, and lashed
don’t know what is la blade for murals advertising divides

for God
and Ulster

for a
united
Ireland

legs blown
asunder

scissors
open
and shut
ex-
posed
&
sun
shine
never been
the same
since

Hermit Kingdom (last section of Wonderland)

I have been revising like crazy for the past two weeks. Finally today I also have additions. I have to subtract before I can add. But the danger is substracting too much. But it isn't really a danger. What's dangerous is not writing and thinking at all.

I wish I could get blogger to format all the spacial concerns. Ah well. Here it is all left justified.


6. DANCING ON EGGSHELLS

Rancho High School

looking in mirror
for the first time
and seeing
a white face

suit of iron
head down

just keep
keep on
surviving

walking
to school
and a rock out
the window
from a passing
car grazes
my head

Running the track—
wanting to go
all the way
and get a letter-
man jacket

spasms &
new designs

mantras scribbed
on bedroom walls

future text by in-
direct
design

climb inside
with monkey apathy
and look for the moon key

small fists beat
out a rhythm
on the glass table

diaphanous memories
monstrous memories

first kiss and the brush
of skin

mother rocking
against the bed
and popping
out
another child
father
crawling
around on the
roo…