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Showing posts from May, 2007

decided on the management position

I have accepted the DOS position and i am supposed to sign the contract on Monday. I am a bit worried though. I was just offered a job at a college in Elblag as well (north part of Poland not far from the Baltic Sea). The college would also pay 4000 zl and a free flat but the job would not start until October so I would have two months of no work.

I am certainly more interested in teaching at a college or university than a management position. Much more interested. But the college position is not teaching literature so it is not that ideal. I just want to meet some writers and thinkers and artists at some point.

I hope I made the right decision.

tO DOS or NOT to DOS

This new school in Bielsko has offered me a promotion for next school year as a director of studies. Management position. It would almost double my salary to 4000 zl per month with a free flat. But it would be quite stressful. A lot of work. I am not sure. It would be something different, but I want the mental and physical/time to write think read etc. hm . . .

wish I could talk to a DOS and get some feedback. Maybe I will try Dave's ESL.

Summer is coming to Poland. Sticky. My stitches are out and I am itchy. Gotta write soon. I don't have a desk or anywhere to really write in my new flat. But maybe next month they will move me into a new flat and I can find a table for my laptop or something.

Roll with it . . .

hunker down sometime

Sticky. Tried to shower with plastic bag. Didn't work too well since I have to sit in the bathtub. I need a bit more flexibility. But off to the doctors tomorrow and then maybe I can have a proper shower.

Bielsko is much better than other places I lived in Poland in terms of . . . well shops and scenery. Other than that it is still Poland. Not much different than anywhere else I have seen. Krakow is unique though.

I keep thinking if I have:

1) a nice clean flat with a somewhat clean roommate

2) internet connection

3) a small library of books

4) a steady schedule with time to think and write

I can do this for another year. I would love to have a permanent address for a year. And have enough money to get some poetry books shipped from the U.S. and the U.K.

God I am starving for some new books of poetry. I can only read Alien Tatters so many times.

fixed and sore

returned home from the clinic on Saturday. Feeling very sore. hot little knives near my groin. But I hope by the end of the week the pain will go away. I also hope the hernia is gone for good. It is all a bit of a haze. Morphine. Numbing the lower part of my body. Arms stretched out and watching them open and tug near the groin area from the mirror on the ceiling. The main surgeon spoke a little English but none of the nurses. When I was in a bit of pain throughout the night we communicated via hand signals. I felt like a bit of an alien. I kind of like morphine. It's a nice feeling.

But all in all it was small surgery and I should recover quite quickly. I am not looking forward to teaching tomorrow. Long long teaching days. sometimes they stretch out from 6AM-9PM with small breaks in between.

I am hoping to find some space soon. Don't like living with a dirty flatmate. But hopefully in July i will be in a new clean place. I really would love a desk or something so I can write …

getting fixed

minor surgery tomorrow (Friday) at 8am for my hernia. Don't like hospitals. Not really looking forward to a foreign hospital. But it is very small surgery. Just one night in the hospital. Gonna spend the last of my savings for the surgery. But hernia keeps getting bigger and interferes with beer drinking and sex. Plus could explode with backed-up shit. And in extreme cases just plain die. So I will do it.

Not looking to spending 24 hours in a Polish clinic/hospital, but I will bring a book. Lots of time to think I guess.

Saturday will be a relief.


thirteen days without writing and finally something is slowly coming. Wrapped myself in professionalism only to realise, again, a job is good only if it allows me to live. By live, I mean write and think and dream. In other words lose my mind. A good stream of books words thoughts. Teaching EFL can deaden my awareness. Or strip it. I am not sure how to proceed. Still feeling cut-off from an artistic and intellectual community. But A good Internet connection and a small library could solve a lot. Or alleviate a bit. Or bring back.

I am fighting for fire. For wildness. For wilderness.

A first generation American with a sense of rootlessness. Ulster Scot. Unsettled. Wandering. Not a citizen of America. But broke my teeth on poetry in America.

I am at least 72.5% American now!

ok it is getting better

I have internet at the school and I can use it now and again. It will be especially nice to use the internet on the weekends. I am still getting use to the new teaching gig. I teach all ages and groups, but 15 hours a week teaching the army is quite a different experience. A lot of the soldiers I taught this morning have done a tour in Iraq. Nice guys. The textbook is military English (writing military reports etc.). It is quite techical and a bit boring. But I can supplement the class with some additional discussion.

A whole new experience again.

I will see how it goes. . .

the world is a big place indeed

don't know what to think yet...

new city has more people and is nicer than last one. But still not too good yet. In typical Polish style (other than Krakow) it is dirty and disorganized. So I am back to the old slow smelly internet cafe. I start the new job next Monday. I will know more at that point about future plans. But I still ache for a nice orderly western European country or maybe even a nice Asian country (Japan for example) even for a little while.

I will see what happens . . .