fixed and sore

returned home from the clinic on Saturday. Feeling very sore. hot little knives near my groin. But I hope by the end of the week the pain will go away. I also hope the hernia is gone for good. It is all a bit of a haze. Morphine. Numbing the lower part of my body. Arms stretched out and watching them open and tug near the groin area from the mirror on the ceiling. The main surgeon spoke a little English but none of the nurses. When I was in a bit of pain throughout the night we communicated via hand signals. I felt like a bit of an alien. I kind of like morphine. It's a nice feeling.

But all in all it was small surgery and I should recover quite quickly. I am not looking forward to teaching tomorrow. Long long teaching days. sometimes they stretch out from 6AM-9PM with small breaks in between.

I am hoping to find some space soon. Don't like living with a dirty flatmate. But hopefully in July i will be in a new clean place. I really would love a desk or something so I can write on my laptop. It is really nice to have Internet at the school though. A great thing on the weekends.

If i can just get a permanent address for one year. Order some books. Teach. Do some writing. Send shit to publishers. I can't really get into a groove for very long.

But I am almost finished with my ms from Korea now called Hermit Kingdom. And almost finished with ms from Poland called Godzeenie (god of time). But I haven't submitted much due to sporadic Internet access and constant moving around.

I try to keep to my room in the new flat. I guess the sticky grease stained floors and dirty dishes and bits of old food on the counters really get to me sometimes. I just use a dish, wash it, and put it away. So simple. But it's getting hard to ignore. My flatmate is a nice guy though. Just the dirtiest and messiest fella I have ever met. I cleaned up after him for one week, but it is a never ending battle. swimming upstream. Now I am just trying to count the weeks. 6 more weeks. Yeah six more weeks. Then a new flat, a new flatmate, a month of summer teaching (Polish army, children's camp, companies).

It could always always always be a hella lot worse.

ok. Now I got to stand up. Little daggers jabbin my groin again . . .