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I am at the burn out stage for living in a foreign country where I don't speak the language. Some of you who have worked abroad may be familiar with this stage.

In both Korea and Poland it went something like this:

stage one: 1-3 months. Fascination. An intense interest in the food and culture. An attempt to learn a few words. Everything is full throttle. Staying out late. Trying everything and anything related to the culture

Stage two: 4-7 months. Wondering what I am doing. Worrying about my future. Feeling frustrated. Looking for something exciting. The sound of the foreign language is frustrating. Everything is very loud. Especially old ladies.

Stage three: 7-12 months. A decision whether or not to stay in the country. If staying, then a more serious attempt to learn the language. Either assimilation or leaving the foreign country.

Stage three in Poland is much different than Korea. I knew I was going to leave but in Poland it is much different. I have an opportunity to settle for a little while in Poland with decent living conditions.

So I am going to start a Polish class next week. It is a difficult language but if I can get to a pre-intermediate level in a five or six months I will be happy. It will certainly make me feel more comfortable.

I will also try the DOS thing.

Earlier this week I felt horrible. Fever.

I know the best job for me is teaching. If somehow i can find my way back to teaching university it might also be nice.

I need a constant stimulus of mind. New ideas. Passion. Obssession. But the DOS position should help no matter what I end up doing. It will help for teaching EFL/ESL and it will help for other careers.

Maybe I will get a membership at the local gym and lower my stress.

So . . . I will keep going. In September I will have my own flat and internet. And if I can save enough money, I should be able to get a big 17' LCD screen and external keyboard. I saw one for 600zl ($200). So it is possible.

I did make a new Polish friend named Sylvester. And also a friend from Canada named Todd. So that helps a lot.

I just need to find/make a sanctuary again.

Yeah. It's going to be ok.

I have done quite a lot of writing despite the psychological hardships (divorce, foreign countries, isolation in communist hotel etc.)

So . . . yeah. Literature and the arts are my passion. I will keep the fire burning!!!

I am feeling optimistic today. 33 is not too old. It's not the end. I am still young. Still rebuilding.


Anonymous said…
Just wondering if the divorce came about because you're a sexist little shit?
postpran said…
hm . . . interesting. Not sure what you mean. But no. Don't think my ex-wife would in any way agree. We are still good friends.

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