I cannot find you brother. How can I imagine you as nowhere. If I imagine you as somewhere where I can imagine you? On a cloud? Slipping back into the sea? As some kind of energy?
I like to imagine you as full of awe and wonder. Full of peace. I like to imagine you NOT suffering. NOT full of pain and worry and heartbreak. I like to imagine you free.
I want to live fully brother. More fully. I want to be awake with the love of you. I want the love of you to help me awake to love.
I am full of silence today. Just the hum of the fan on this laptop. No music. Just the London buses passing by.
You do not suffer my brother. I am closing my eyes and seeing you. Hearing you.
You are here.